I'm back baby! In more ways than one.
For 2 months I have been staggering through life like Superman with a pocket full of Kryptonite. I hate to draw such a dramatic comparison, but I've been using x-ray vision for over a decade, I am able to leap over my lounge in a single bound, and I'm sure there have been nights where I have almost gone in to the hospital after putting my undies on over my jeans. But I digress. It started with a general feeling of lethergy which over the course of November, evolved into constantly yawning and sometimes, more worrying, gasping for breath for no reason.
So concerned was I that I had a serious health problem that I went to see the Doc for a blood test.
The results were disturbing. "Mr Webeck, your blood test results are back. It shows a very high-" In a split second I finished his sentence with every worst case scenario. "- cholesterol." What? I barely had time to digest the news before he continued. "And you have low testosterone." Ok Doc, I came here to get and explanation for my lethargy, not to be told I'm an old fat woman! He also said my renal function wasn't great. Should I tell him that over the last 10 years I've drunk enough Pepsi Max to fill a swimming pool? Nah.
A few days off work and I was starting to feel a little better. Who knew that working an entire calendar month with only three days off could bring about such physical exhaustion.
And then came Christmas.
Since working nightfill for Big W all those years ago, I've found it hard to see Christmas as anything but hard work. But the 8 days around Christmas this year was ridiculous! Through 8 busy days and seven busier nights, I averaged about 3 and a half hours sleep a night. I have never felt such depths of tiredness. Ready to snap at anyone that dared give me an opportunity. Begging for some annoyed patient to complain about my demeanor. Praying for a doctor to suggest I wasn't working fast enough. I was fantasising about spewing a tirade that would make Mark Latham blush. Alas the chance never arose and so the crazed lunatic inside me must remain annonymous for a little while longer.
Physically, that feeling in your eyes after swimming in an overchlorined pool. The throbbing in your head after a night that ends with tequila shots. And for 1 week I swear that Lindsay Lohan had more functioning brain cells than I did. I was a zombie. Walking amongst the living, those around me could tell there was something missing inside me without really being able to put their finger on exactly what it was.
But as 2011 begins, and with 48 hours of life away from the hospital under my belt, again the zombie inside me has been subdued. I am normal again, or at least as normal as I was before.
So now, as I wait for the arrival of our new baby, due any minute, I cherish the sleep filled nights.
Until then.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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